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Sex and the City

Posted by marriedflirt on 2006.07.06 at 20:40
So guess what? I’m going to New York City at the end of August. TOTALLY ALONE. No husband. Do you know the insane opportunities I am going to have for FLIRTING in that city?!?!

How did I swing this, you ask? Well, it wasn't easy.

Here's the story: A friend is getting married and a couple in NYC that we know offered to let us stay with them. I automatically assumed my man wouldn't want to go as the last time we hung out with this same couple they behaved like assholes and my husband said he was totally done with them. Forever. Basically they were now dead to him.

But then, when I told my man that I was going to this wedding, alone, he flipped out! So I explained to him that I was staying with the "asshole" couple and I didn't want him to come because I didn't want to have to deal with the weirdness between him and them. So he tells me that he is "over it". Yes, suddenly, the despised couple whom he has hated and refused to talk to for over 3 years were no longer "dead" to him. Miraculous!

I felt so frustrated! So I constructed my Argument. Here were my points:

1. Don'’t tell me there won't be weirdness, you know their will be and I just don't want to deal with it.

2. Don't tell me it's not fair for me to go to NYC without you because we've never been before as this is NOT a trip about seeing NYC. I will be there for only 3 days one of which is at a wedding. This is a trip about me seeing all my old friends and I want to focus on that, not sight seeing.

3. It's double the money if we both go ($1000 bucks just for the air fare) and I really didn't want to spend that much on a measly 3 day trip. I'd rather just not go then.

That was pretty much it. I think they were good strong points but he wasn't having any of it! He said it was weird for me to want to go alone.

Finally, you know what I did? I just told him the plain truth. Or the TRUTH behind the truth, because all of what I said above is true. But the TRUTH is, that in the deepest part of my soul I have been wanting to go on a trip alone for the longest time. That I think it is good to go on a trip by yourself sometimes.

Example: When we go camping together I totally rely on him to do all the "man" stuff. But one time I went camping without him, just with some friends (he had to work) and I was amazed at what a mountain woman I became. I hauled all my gear alone, I set up my own tent, I rowed everyone around the entire lake—I totally was empowered. I never forgot that. It made me realize that sometimes we are different people alone than in a couple, and that it is important every once in a while to revisit that person. But, I told him, in tears, every time I ever mention wanting to go on a road trip or something by myself, you totally guilt me out of it or try to make me think it's too dangerous for a woman alone! I told him it was making me feel smothered and resentful.

And you know what? He totally got it. He relented. He's letting me go alone without a fight.

Of course now he says HE is going to go on a solo trip TOO. Ha! Men are such babies.


Me. Solo. Big Apple.

Watch out.

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